Twist, Bend, & Move … Goodbye London

I am a bit dramatic, not sure if you can read my text.
Twist, bend & move.
It's my last day tomorrow at my job, thought l'd share everything so far.
I'm turning 28 on the 30th, a little while ago I shared a poem, will share something creative again once I'm settled back in Scotland 

Writing is all about re-writing, & then re-write again. I'm trying to-do 5 min tests (definitely not today though) & share words on video.

Anywayyyy

Adas diary; a glimpse ;£

Lately I've been chocking on the air, with the thought of moving up north.
Here is a letter to myself/ to you/ to London.
Age 19 to 27.

A Love Letter to London

The seagulls
arrive before the sun.

The morning slides between the buildings.
It rests on the pavement, 

on my shoulders, 

on the windows.
I listen to the trees whispering to each other.

I sit by the canal in King's Cross,
It feels strange now, sitting by my old university. I don't feel like I belong-more like a stranger in a place that shouldn't be disturbed.
Once, I spent hours here thinking up ideas, writing, watching the world get on with itself around me.
Now I read for my own gain rather than for creativity. Though those two are the same thing. right?

In 2019
I arrived
with everything l owned…

A skateboard.
A suitcase.
Books heavy enough to bend my back.
My poor poor back.
(Oh sweet pack&send I will get a quote from you now in 2026 for my books)

London,

You just kept on spinning.

I enjoyed being so small in a city so large, It allowed me to express myself.
I don't want to feel so small anymore.

Funny thing is, just the other day I was chatting with a lovely stranger at the markets, I said you've got a good memory. She said
"it's because you're small"
Aah okay.

Sticking to a routine, I noticed regulars.
"Oh you're wearing new shoes"
"Nice haircut"
Thoughts I kept to myself seeing strangers in the underground.

Now 

the light 

falls differently.
It lingers 

as though 

it knows

I am leaving?

My heart is heavy, I can't breathe but it's for the good right?
Right? Right?
I wonder… will the birds notice
I have gone,
or will my shadow remain.
My eyes have been following the pigeons; I started a stare down with a pigeon outside Google & it flew towards my face. I am sorry.

I leave 
without a job. (edit with a job)
Without a plan. (with a plan)
I have spent enough years surviving.
I would like to see what happiness asks of me again.
I've felt a bit empty for 3 years now, I want to feel alive again.

Some of my favourite memories were from UAL,
One man asked me if I was a performer at UAL which felt like a massive compliment.
I spent hours & hours going to granary square to sit in a nice spot.
I spent years going to Primrose Hill & Hampstead heath listening to the trees.

I randomly met Post Malone on the streets of London. I saw James McAvoy on stage and, after one glass of Prosecco, I completely lost it because well I got too emotional listening to poetry on stage & then I cried.
But then I completely lost it when James McAvoy ripped off his shirt & I cried even harder
because ABs hello.
I am sorry, so so sorry.
Anyway, but more than that... I was completely captivated by the passion of every performer. I fell in love with the play.

I promise I'm not always a crier Imao.

I saw Romeo & Juliet & appreciated it through a different creative perspective.

London, I may never see you again I said the same thing to Scotland
I may actually never see some (all) of you again.
But thank you for sharing your city, your stories, and a part of your lives with me.

But thank you for sharing your life with me.